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Friday, March 31, 2017

Never Judge a Book By its Colour

Yes I spelt that word colour. Its the proper "British way" and I'm "kinda British as a Canadian". If I was American I'd say color, but I digress.

Tried that before, needless to say, it did not end well, just a swift kick to my nuts.


You know the expression "Never judge a book by its cover", well this isn't that, but its somewhat along those lines. I'd say like "Never judge a book by its spine or index", but it doesn't really match my topic, so I'll go with colour. Its about skin colour, and misreading it. That's funny cause misread is also about a book but in this cause I mean misjudge. I'm so funny sometimes (why do I lie, I mean always). I love to talk to myself and tell myself how great I am. Some people say that's narcissistic (its better than sadistic I suppose. Another point in my favour. I am awesome).

As I interjected a few times in previous blogposts, people in Japan tend to assume if you are Asian in Japan, you are Japanese. Which is fair enough, if you are Swedish in Canada, most Canadians would assume you are Canadian. I only use Swedish cause I went to IKEA yesterday and had those meatballs. So the Swed's are on my brain.

Anywho...

There were a lot of problems with Chinese Canadians being thought of as Japanese. By pretty much everyone, including both Japanese and gaijin (foreigners), yes even other Chinese Canadians.

It can come in handy when you want to blend in a crowd, or a family totally hates foreigners with blue eyes and blond hair but they might you and are like oh, you look not that far off. On the other hand, when you don't act a certain way, bow deep enough (or at all), stop clapping/ start clapping at the wrong times, you start to look out of place (like a white albino among a heard of black albino's). That's also funny cause its wordplay, and fyi albino's are among any ethnic group, its just their melanin is missing so they are still white, but have characteristics of whatever group they are from.
If you also happen to be overly tall/ large compared to regular Japanese you also stand out. They will be thinking "something not right about this one". I had one of two very large Asian American friends that did not fit in well size wise, with the typical thin Japanese frame.

And that's funny on a few different levels, plus its more word play.


I think I mentioned the story about two Chinese Canadians that bumped into each other had no clue they are both Chinese Canadian then realized they both are. Became best of friends and had never even known about each other until that day. Even speaking to each other in Japanese saying "Excuse me (in Japanese Sumimasen)". Its a good expression to use you can never apologize enough in Japan for being doing the stupid idiotic things you will do outside the norm. Even if you don't think you need to say it I'd throw out some "Sumimasen's" at random. Everyone knew I did something wrong or had done and still making up for my past errors and idiocracies (which are beyond measure). I didn't break the family's 500 year old teaset like one of my friend's though, so I'm not that bad.

We all seem to jump to conclusions based on our "book colour".This is like my grade 6 English class. One of the questions, was like "What did the large strong tree in the family stand for?"
I'm just going on a limb (or maybe a branch here), but I'll go with "WHAT IS THE FATHER for $100 ALEX". I think I was right.
Can you decipher "book colour" on your own?

I remember a few aS$nhole American colleges (I don't wanna say friends) I had, that when we took the train to University in Kobe they'd be like "DAMN THAT GIRL IS A FOX, I'd love to see where she hides nuts during Winter". And then as she'd get off at the train stop be like "Thanks as$hats, I'm from Cali!". I didn't know if she was Chinese American (or Asian American or Japanese American), but whatever she was, they misjudged her book colour. They did not say "Sumimasen", which potentially could have made it better.

She definitely saw the Canadian flag I had meticulously (big word) sewn onto to my backpack. To announce to the world I AM CANADIAN (roll the beer commercial here).
I considered yelling "These assmonkeys I'm with are Americans! And bad ones at that". I didn't say it but I wanted to end with  "And you are no fox to me. You are like a 6, if you are lucky! Sumimasen!"
But I didn't. I pretended I did and retold that story as if I did say it. Its called living in your own world and I like that. Trump and I could get along together well, like him and Putin. Snap!

There was some morale in this post, but you will have to dig it out yourself.
Its somewhere hidden in this bookshelf (SMAP! That's my like 10th book related reference).


You hosers! A Canadian ism for losers/ fool.
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My Youtube Channel, wearing red tights and jumping around as Deadpool (but I say Dadpool to avoid copyright. Smarter than I look!)


Other funny stories from this blog 



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