Tanuki is a strange animal, its translated in English as "raccoon dog". It will probably give you rabies (yes the one that turns you into a zombie. Unless you want to become a zombie. I'm slightly tempted. My brain is half mush anyways).
If you've been to Japan you've probably seen one (not zombies, I mean a Tanuki, probably not alive, no not from zombies.).
The Tanuki statues can be seen everywhere from shops to forests. Its an animal that stands up like a dog on his hind legs. But, you might notice something strange about it.
Let me paint you a picture (with my stroke(s). Sounds perverted I know).
It has huge balls! And I'm not talking about soccer balls. Shizing! (that's my own cool sound effect).
I'm talking huge (and by huge I mean like as big as the blob).
It has huge balls! And I'm not talking about soccer balls. Shizing! (that's my own cool sound effect).
I'm talking huge (and by huge I mean like as big as the blob).
I hope you know the blob (he's a comic book bad guy).
I once asked a Japanese friend what's with the Tanuki's all over the place.
"Oh, wealth and prosperity", he told me nonchalantly.
As if their big balls would bring you everything you wanted, you just need to rub the genie or this case.......the balls? I noticed many hands were attracted there and many a picture taken (I'm envious).
As if their big balls would bring you everything you wanted, you just need to rub the genie or this case.......the balls? I noticed many hands were attracted there and many a picture taken (I'm envious).
I wonder if I should erect (yeah I did say erect) one in Canada (by the way erect is synonymous with balls so snap a word match!).
No holding back around here (mofo's).
Wealth and prosperity only? Well that's not all I was thinking, more something he has that's visible from a mile away. Maybe his prosperity isn't based on moola/ money (if you know what I mean. Ba boom!). That means its love based for a breakdown of my ba boom for you innocent unicorn loving folks.
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| Dude, you got a Tanuki tattoo? Its OK maybe it will rub off, its only permanent. Having large balls on your arm equals very cool. |
It occurred to me that the word "kintama" in Japanese means testicles, but more literally translated as "Golden balls", and as a sidenote, "YOU gotta catch them all!"
Although that sounds painful (unless you're neurotic, it might be enjoyable. Look that big word up! I spent 4 years at Uni to learn that word).
I also say that "Catch them all" phrase as a word play on Dragon Ball Z (2nd wordplay now, yeah I'm tallying). If you have no idea what I'm talking about you aren't the manga/ anime nerd I hoped you were (Not to worry there's still time).
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| This is funny if you know Dragon Ball Z & a double play on recent news. I'm killing it with wordplay (3rd time!). |
Supposedly, Tanuki play into Japanese stories/lore about being sneaky/ sly (mostly interchangeable with a fox, but that's a side deviance). Due to their biological advantage of having large testicles (I'm envious) metal workers enjoyed them for metal work.
Am I saying all metal workers have small testicles? No!
Why then you ask? (even if you didn't ask I'm telling you).
The story goes that gold could be hammered within a Tanuki's testicles to flatten it most efficiently. Since it was soft and didn't break (stretches nicely) it was a great material to use. I hope not while alive (I'm not envious of that part).
Am I saying all metal workers have small testicles? No!
Why then you ask? (even if you didn't ask I'm telling you).
The story goes that gold could be hammered within a Tanuki's testicles to flatten it most efficiently. Since it was soft and didn't break (stretches nicely) it was a great material to use. I hope not while alive (I'm not envious of that part).
I hope you enjoyed your lesson today about Tanuki's, large balls and wordplay.
I'm going for the gold with one more wordplay coming.
I think my necrosis is making an appearance again so I have to go (not to be confused with necrophilia. Although I dabble in necromancy occasionally, like raising the living dead etc, zombies and the such.)
Snap!
Don't miss the picture and caption below.
I'm going for the gold with one more wordplay coming.
I think my necrosis is making an appearance again so I have to go (not to be confused with necrophilia. Although I dabble in necromancy occasionally, like raising the living dead etc, zombies and the such.)
Snap!
Don't miss the picture and caption below.
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| This Tanuki has big balls (expression) but to attempt the feat to Mordor, I eulogize him (not euthanize him. Technically I could). The future is in his hands for all of Middle Earth! |
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Other funny stories from this blog
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