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Saturday, September 26, 2015

Once upon a CRIME

Oh snap! A crime you say? What could it be?

I wanted to recant the tale I enjoyed with of one of my Brazilian acquaintances. I don't want to say friend, because he wasn't my friend, and I had a strange inkling (feeling) he might kill me.

Just to give some backstory, there are many Brazilians in Japan (majority of Japanese decent). In the old racist days (its still a racist for some people), Canada and the USA had a white only policy unless you had big bucks. But Brazil had lots of land to farm and fish to cook (or catch), whatever sounds more fairly-tale like.

Anywho...
Many Japanese went to Brazil and their ancestors (not that long ago), became Japanese Brazilians. Many lost their language and culture (then came the ORCISH HORDES TO OBLITERATE the heathen. WAIT that might be WARCRAFT, just ignore that part).

Now Japan needs workers to do factory work and a declining population to sustain those jobs so they looked to the people that might fit well back into their society (people of Japanese decent are good idea they thought).

There were many Brazilians I met from all walks of life in Japan. Many of the students I got along with fabulously, as we were all in the same boat and sinking together in Japan (language, culture, food whatever).

I did meet a few rougher around the edge Brazilians. One was a muscular guy that did Tae Kwon Doe his name was Akira. His name was like the famous anime. If you don't know it its called AKIRA (you guess it right the name of the movie is the same as the lead characters name, coincidence?)
I felt like he was the kind of leader of a gang with gold chains and sweatpants. His track style jacket blew in the wind and his thick hair moved slightly in the wind (due to gel I think, but just as well could have been blood splatter).

Like this bike for the movie AKIRA, but this guy isn't half as cool.


As I probably mentioned in a previously blog story, one day I was walking and he pulled up in a car. It was odd, because I didn't know he had a car (I saw him on a bike before), and two he was in my neck of the woods. He asked me if I wanted a ride (not really I thought). "Sure", I answered. Dumb.....

Hopefully he won't kill me whilst driving. Either with a knife or the car.

As we started to drive he turned his music up (Brazilian rap), no doubt saying F the Canadians!
I told him nice car. He said "I stole it". I considered jumping out while it was moving, but thought he'd win and get his way by killing me.

"Umm is it a joke?", I asked.


I should have realized, it would be like this.


He didn't answer.
I had a vision of me driving down the street and getting stopped by the police. Them looking at me and asking why a nice rule abiding citizen driving around with a car thief.
Then I popped back to reality (Whoops there goes gravity. That's an Eminem line fyi, if you aren't a hipster like me).
We drove by the police station (police box in Japan) at a high speed. If that won't get their attention I wasn't sure what would.
He drove across town to a building I'd never seen. He stopped. A few thugs got out speaking in Portuguese. I wasn't sure if they were saying if they wanted to say hello or wanted to F me up.
I tried my only Portuguese I knew, "GOOD MORNING! BONJIA!" They smiled. I figured if there was an attempt to f me up at this point I was going to repeat good morning until it stopped.
Some smiles all around. Talking of which I didn't understand one word. I was in the hood, in Japan. And there were no Japanese.

I picked up my phone like the actor I am (a crappy one), "Umm Akira, my girlfriend asked me to come home for dinner". He looked at me, "Its 4PM.".

Sh%t.

"She likes to eat early and she's very strict with me", I said.
The strict part is true.

He took me back. He seemed to want to dance in the car on the way back with the song (we didn't have Taylor Swift back then). I did a little Bollywood music video dance, and he laughed.
I didn't get killed, maybe due to that dance.

He asked me where I lived. Sh%t.

"Uhhh near a rice field", hoping to be as vague as possible..

"Ya but you are in a hurry, where? I drive you home", he said.

"No its all good, where you picked me up, I'll run home for exercise".

I got out and ran for the hills (in this case the rice fields).

A few weeks later I was at the judo club and saw someone who knew him. "Hey I heard you went on a joyride in Akira's car".

The rumor was out I guess.

"Ya I did", I responded.

"Did you know the car was full of drugs?", he said.
I laughed, he laughed too.

I hoped it was a joke but I didn't want to confirm either way.
I'm fairly sure it was a joke, but I don't want to wager any bet on it.


I wasn't entirely confident so I didn't put a wager on it.


If you found anything above amusing or even slightly funny help me out and click one of those boxes above or give me a Google +1 or something. Might come in handy in the future.

My Youtube Channel, wearing red tights and jumping around as Deadpool (but I say Dadpool to avoid copyright. Smarter than I look!)


Other funny stories from this blog 
http://memoirsgaijin.blogspot.ca/

My blog about everyday life (not Japan related/ and maybe less amusing )
http://eyethroughtheglass.blogspot.ca/ 


My Youtube Channel 
(makes no sense just like my blog)
http://www.youtube.com/user/judoka4eva





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