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Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Free Meals Have a Catch


Free meals have a catch

Sometimes bigger than others


I think I've come to the right place!

When my girlfriend told me one of her students owned a sushi restaurant and invited us to come for dinner I was excited.
Little did I know what I was in for.
I thought, perhaps she’d give us a few pieces of few sushi or sashimi for free, but once we arrived her husband (the chef), had prepared a feast for us. How could I say no? Maybe I should have. There's always a catch isn't there?
It started off with crab brain, which is not really my style, but thanks (in this case I hoped you are what you eat became true. Smart as a .....crab?). Salmon, tuna, crab, and then…… I noticed my shrimp was twitching. Perhaps it’s a reaction to the soy sauce I thought; it’s rather salty after all. Didn’t I learn that in my molecular biology class (that’s a joke. I’m an idiot and didn’t take that).
But it seemed like my food was still alive. I had never heard of that before, but different strokes for different folks as they say. I wasn’t sure what to do. It seemed like my shrimp was dancing on the plate and about to jump off.
I then saw a fish head that seemed to be talking to me, “Don’t eat me, I’m still alive”. It didn’t say that but I hallucinated it did. Maybe I inhaled too much soy sauce or my dream came true that my brain was transforming into mushy crab brain.
I looked again at the shrimp. I wasn’t sure what to do. The head was on and the tail but the middle part of the shell had been removed. I reached forward. I was a little hesitant to have a live shrimp bouncing around my innards so I grabbed the head and was about to twist it off. “Don’t waste it!”, said the sushi chef angrily. "Ummm…. dude it’s like alive", I thought about saying.


I thought the chef might be crazy mad. I wasn't sure if I could ask him to redo it, so its not alive would be good.

He looked at me like I was some sort of monster, wasting the Holy Grail. In reality I was thinking he was the monster, keeping animals alive whilst eating them. It could been worse and been dog I guess (which I think I might have almost eaten in Korea. Not alive though).
I removed the shell off the tail as it jerked around in my mouth. Yum, tastes like parasites I thought. Perhaps I should have added more salty soy sauce to clean it. The chef seemed to be watching my reaction. 
“Dancing Shrimp”, he told me. Oh……aaah… great?
I was thinking more like “Soon to be thrown up shrimp”. You see raw shrimp tastes like licking a toe, not that I’ve ever done that (or at least consciously that I can remember). I think my brain is turning into crab brain.
After dinner they asked what I thought, “absolutely delicious”, I lied through my teeth.
Would you like to come again sometime they asked?
Absolutely NOT I was thinking. 

“Of course!”, I answered with a sigh.

Perhaps I should have just gone with "I found out I'm allergic to shrimp".

If you are interested here is my live shrimp video. Click below. Its 9 seconds of your life wasted.
Incidentally, (I like that word, makes me feel smart) I uploaded it and it become a viral video on youtube.
If you read through the comments they are rather rude but some are funny. I didn't enjoy the ones where the odd person told me they planned to skin me alive and eat me (aside from the pain, it sounds perverted).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qgPE-o4n3dk


Other funny stories from this blog 
http://memoirsgaijin.blogspot.ca/

My blog about everyday life (not Japan related)
http://eyethroughtheglass.blogspot.ca/


My Youtube Channel 
(makes no sense just like my blog)
http://www.youtube.com/user/judoka4eva


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