1. I'm not good at picking up women. (You may think I'm this Don Juan Da Marco or a sexy guy on the front of a women's love novel, but alas, I am not). I was also going to add in Captain Jack Sparrow. But no connection in any way. 軟派/ Nampa / ナンパ (written in Kanji here).
2. There second meaning of nampa is "shipwreck".
That's usually what happens what I try to pickup women, a shipwreck (although I'd like to brag about how amazing I am at it. I'm not).
I'm about as good at as the feeling of rubbing your hand across sandpaper. Bumpy and rough ("Just the way your mother likes it Trebek!"). If you don't understand the Trebek thing its a joke about Saturday Night Live. Google it or ignore, just like the girls do to me, ignore my sandpaper advances. LOL.
|I think you can fill in the blank.|
Once while entering Japan I came across a Japanese immigration officer who looked very serious. He looked through my passport. At which point he noticed I was heading back to Kansai area (Kyoto, Osaka, Kobe area) for school. He told me he was from Osaka, I guess to make us feel like we have some brotherly connection. That's a nice move (maybe he's trying to pick me up?)
He then asked me I speak Japanese, which I said yes. Since he already told me he's from Osaka in Japanese, its weird to ask if I speak Japanese after the fact. None the less, he did.
"You must be good at nampa!". I snickered. Although I knew very well the word means picking up girls in this context, I didn't want to let on, plus he's a freaking immigration officer. Imagine you tell them, yes I'd like to gain access to your country with one purpose to gain access to your most beautiful fair maidens. And they should be virgin maidens. And if by chance they have a dragon protecting them I'm not interested. Please allow me access and shoot me in the right direction.
I looked him in the eye for about five seconds at which point I replied, "I'm not good with boats". Incase you didn't catch my drift or remember my thorough explanation again. I'm implying to him I knew the second non slang meaning of nampa as shipwreck.
At this point he either realized I'm playing a game with him or thought I only knew proper Japanese.
He stamped my passport.
"Enjoy!" he said.
Enjoy I will, I thought (insert some sort of an evil laugh here).
I snickered as I passed into Japan, dreaming of my sandpaper smooth chances at picking up girls (aka none).
|The ultimate technique. Works everytime for girls.|
Most recently a good female friend reminded me.
"You know.. you are OK looking but you are very uncool. If only you could keep your mouth shut".
I smiled and responded, "But you know what. Its what's inside that counts right?".
"Ya about that... ummm you talk about the past a lot, and find jokes about rhyming words funny. You never shut up about Japan and things that happened along time ago. You don't live in the present. You are totally an old man."
My blog about everyday life (not Japan related/ and maybe less amusing )
My Youtube Channel (makes no sense just like my blog)